i've embraced more time with my family. i live with one of my sisters. we've gone to family weddings, said goodbye to a precious grandmother, celebrated thanksgiving and christmas with our loved ones. i am surrounded by the beauty of the pacific northwest. we've gone hiking and to the beach. we drink good coffee and hear good music and hold each other close. these are good things.
but . . .
i work at a job i hate, we are scraping by to pay our bills. i gave up the garden i have so lovingly cultivated for the last 3 seasons and now live in a house where everything is in the shade. i love the huge trees that surround our house . . . but this girl needs to be growing her own food. i haven't touched my easel. i live too far from everything i love about this city. i miss my old roller derby team (though my new one has made me feel SO welcome) and my old neighborhood. my closest friends are now the ones who are so far away. returning to a place where i once lived and finding that both the place and myself have changed . . . it's a tough transition. i am forced to redefine it all again.
but this can be good too.
so i start 2012 with faith. with bravery. with hope. with fear.
i will embrace possibility. my heart will continue to feel all the feelings as harshly and as strongly as it always has. and this is ok. but i will try to take those feelings and translate them to action.
i will use my new sewing machine. i will take hold of the time i have and fill it with what i love - radical homemaking, crafts, creativity, time in nature and with those i love, music, yoga, passion . . .
i will dye my hair red and get an acupuncture treatment.
i will volunteer at a local farm.
i will finally put pictures on the walls of my bedroom. (5 months in this city and no pictures on the walls?)
i will pour my heart in to my life and leave no second wasted.
how will your year be different?